── ── Strategy
Reciprocity
The rule of reciprocity — if someone gives you something, you owe them something back — recurs across virtually every documented human culture (Mauss 1925; Gouldner 1960). The rule operates below deliberation, scales asymmetrically, and fires even when the favor was unrequested or from someone you dislike. Regan (1971): a 10¢ Coke produced ~50¢ in compliance, and liking stopped predicting…
Run Reciprocity on a real problem
Bring something you're actually deciding — free, in the browser.
How it works
1. Name the favor. What exactly is being given? Be specific — vague favors cannot be analyzed. 2. Estimate cost to giver. Real dollars, time, risk. Pull is proportional to perceived cost to giver, not value to you. 3. Estimate value to you. The gap between cost and value is where calibration goes wrong. 4. Identify the eventual ask. What does the giver want — now or later? If you can't articulate it, either there isn't one (analysis stops) or the install is still being staged. 5. Run the counterfactual. Would you say yes if asked directly, absent the gift? If yes — install is benign. If no — the rule is converting a "no" into a "yes." Decline the install, not the eventual ask. 6. Check for door-in-the-face. Large ask → decline → smaller ask → you feel pulled to match the concession. Naming it weakens the pull. 7. Decide: accept and reciprocate at par / decline up front / accept with explicit frame reset / accept then evaluate the ask on its own merits in writing. 8. Audit cumulative install. Analyze the whole relationship, not just the latest favor — especially in regulated professions.
When to use it
- someone is being unexpectedly generous before making a request
- you're deciding whether to accept a gift, free sample, or unsolicited concession
- you're designing a sales or fundraising sequence and want to give first
- a negotiation counterpart just retreated from an extreme position and you feel pulled to match
- you're asking "why do they keep buying me lunch?" or "should I send a gift first?"
When not to use it
the exchange is explicitly priced (commerce, not reciprocity); the gift is a normal recurring pattern in an established friendship with no pending ask.
Worked example
Free AI Credits, Freemium Tiers, and Open-Weight Releases (2023–2026)
The 2023–2026 AI boom ran on generosity — or what looked like it. Foundation-model providers handed out free API credits to new developers. AI coding tools shipped genuinely useful free tiers. Labs released open-weight models the world could download and run for nothing. To a founder or an SMB owner deciding what to build on, all of this feels like a gift. Run the Reciprocity Analysis and it resolves into something more precise: a large-scale, deliberately-staged reciprocity install — powerful, often legitimate, and easy to…
Install this skill (free, MIT)
npx skills add deciqAI/knowledge-skillsUseful? Star the repo — stars help other builders find it.
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